Written Expressions

This was meant to be written yesterday, when I still had high hopes, but I have lost all of that, after going for a follow-up earlier today. My brief happiness came in the previous week, when I got a positive on my home urine pregnancy test (UPT), but it was a very faint line. My menses was late for 18 days, which is the longest I ever had. Plus the nauseous feeling, frequent headache, mild cramping, and sore breasts. I was worried, nervous but excited to see that second line. I have been trying to conceive (TTC) for more than a year; of course I was totally joyous. The next day, I tested again, using digital UPT (Clearblue) and got this. UPT the previous day. My hands were totally shaking when showing the digital UPT to my parents. That very morning, I went to a clinic and the doctor did ultrasound scan but could not see any gestational sac. He suspected I was having an ectopic pregnancy , and wrote a referral letter to Likas Hospital for further investigatio...

It is a very hot and sunny day. You have sweated a bucket under the hot, blaring sun. You need a cool, refreshing drink to wind up for few minutes. You know what is a good choice for this? Apple Fox Cider ! It is a brand new, invigorating apple cider! Now, let’s thanks Apple Fox who has brought this New Zealand-inspired cider to Malaysian shores! This newly launched apple cider will ripple your senses with a crisp refreshing taste. It is made from only good and freshest orchard apples. From the heart of natural freshness  – the orchard – AppleFox Cider  captures the essence of purity from where the freshest apples are grown. Like a fox hunting in the orchard, this alcoholic cider will capture the hearts of those who aim for a straight-up, instant refreshment with a contemporary and bold edge. This sounds like a peee erfect drink for afternoons half-way your daily job or just need a drink to wind up after a hectic week, don't you think? Inspired by New Zea...

The family had an over-the-weekend birthday celebration for the grandmother at Pogun Bakau Lodge recently at Jalan Penampang-Tambunan; a one-night stay there. I've heard of this place before, but never been there. It is only about 10 minutes away from Donggongon Town. For map, click here . Never did I know that the only way to the lodge is through TWO hanging bridges. Cars can be parked  at an open parking area not far from the starting point of the bridges. Note that acrophobics (people who fear heights) might not want to go here. So, here is the first bridge, over a wide river. The second bridge. The foyer. Our celebration. The birthday cakes. Grandmother's children. The grandchildren. Last group photo. Photo cr: My aunt. I am not sure about the rates, because my uncle was the one who did the booking hehe. Facilities available:  3 rooms (with double-decker beds and mattresses + blankets + pillows),...

Should've stayed Were the signs I ignored? Can I help you not to hurt anymore? We saw brilliance when the world was asleep. There are things that we can have but can't keep. If they say... Who cares if one more light goes out? In the sky of a million stars, It flickers, flickers. Who cares when someone's time runs out? If a moment is all we are, Or quicker, quicker. Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do. The reminders pull the floor from your feet. In the kitchen, one more chair than you need, oh. And you're angry. And you should be. It's not fair. Just cause you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. If they say... Who cares if one more light goes out? In the sky of a million stars, It flickers, flickers. Who cares when someone's time runs out? If a moment is all we are, Or quicker, quicker. Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do. I do... Who cares if one more light goes out? In the sky of a million s...

5.22pm. It is raining heavily outside. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness are covering me, in this dark and empty house. The phone has been silent since noon. I've been staring at the laptop screen for 3 hours now. Listening to 2000s rock songs. Saw a picture of me and thought that I look fat. Fatter than before. People might think that I am overreacting. I tried. But failed miserably. Saw pictures of husband and wife spending time together. Why can't I have a moment like that? Another Saturday away from family. Another weekend to spend all alone, in a stranger's place. How many more Saturdays like this should I face?